The courage to be nobody

In our society today, most people are busy most of the time. I’m cool with that. What grates my carrot, however, is when folk see busyness as a measure of your importance; when they determine their worth – and that of others – based on what they do.

Or don’t.

I’ve had more than one quiet season this year: times of transition where I felt myself to be at a crossroad. I was never bored, but I was certainly not sprinting from one thrillingly important thing to another.

I went for walks with the older of my sisters. I hung up the washing for my mom and took it down. I went with my family to visit people in our congregation. I practised my music and talked trash (or surprisingly deep stuff) with my youngest sister.

Sometimes the quiet times are the hardest. One’s inner critic, as my friend puts it, becomes very harsh. Am I doing enough? Does any of this matter? Do I really matter?

For my birthday this year, a dear friend of ours took me out for coffee. She told me how they moved from a busy lifestyle to our one-robot town several years ago and asked the Lord how He wanted them to serve now.

His reply was simple. “Just park.”

Just park – and be there for the needy. Just park – and be ready with a shoulder and an ear for those who hurt. Just park – and do whatever I ask you to do, insignificant as it may seem to you.

She looked at me. “It’s very hard to be ‘nobody’.”

Aye. In our society everyone makes sure to post and share the best of their achievements, the highest of their highs. Have you ever seen a photo with the caption, “Scrubbing toilets for Dad. #TotalAwesomeness!”?

Neither have I.

But God does things differently. As my friend reminded me, “God is asking you, ‘Can you believe that even if you do nothing apart from just being, you still have huge value to Me?’”

God and I are working on that one.

I’ve found that in our world, where we tend to ignore most things devoid of glamour, it takes a lot of courage to say, “Lord, strip me of all the stuff in which I mistakenly find my worth. Take away everything I feverishly cling to because it makes me feel important. Bring me to a point where I can just be – where there’s so little left of me that You will shine through with ease.”

It takes a lot of courage to quietly be “nobody”.

And when asked what you’re doing with yourself, it takes a lot of courage to be honest about it.